He had come into my life one day and today I think I have lost him...
Though I think I never had him in the first place...
these things are so difficult to know sometimes...yet some find it easy or so they say...
These days I am not sure about anything...but then when was I ever!!
So when he had said "I love you" ~ I had not reacted...because I was not sure what to say or do...I was not sure if he was saying it because he really meant it or was it just because he had no other experience or exposure to anyone else...If he had been unable to explore options...how was he to know that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me without really knowing me at all or again so I thought....and thus no reaction...
He said that again after some time...and again I gave him no reaction. This time it was me not really sure if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him especially now that I knew that we were very different. I am sure he was aware of it too...yet he said it again and I was taken aback. Foolish me or reckless him....not sure...
And now, some time later...I know that I can spend the rest of my life with him...it is not going to be easy...but I know that he adores me and will stand by me through thick or thin....through fun and sad times....although we will still have problems understanding each other, for he wants me to read between lines and I want him to be upfront and say it...use semantics to express himself....and he wants meta-communication...big problem!! And this is not it....
But what is the point in all this...I know that he has drifted away....his behavior has changed.
He no longer is waiting for me or my answer...and I do not blame him for it....I am not sure if I would have stuck around for as long as he did in the first place...
Yet ~ I am not sure when I will ever have the guts to take this risk in life....when will I be ready for a commitment...
But for now I wish him all the best and hope he finds in life what he is looking for....
And I will hope that next time I donot feel so confused in this process....
1 comment:
I used to b clueless too.Hd been in 5 diff relationships in a span 8yrs.Bt dinnt really commit to ne of them.Dint even last ne of them fr more than 8months at max-fr various reasons-problems/issues/realizations.
Bt then i met Riaz-2yrs bak-ven i wsnt lukin at all.Later ven he proposd,fr th 1st time in my life,i knew he ws 'th one',n tht i did want to be with him till eternity.
V got married a yr bak.N i hvnt ever been happier *:)*.
Things fall into their place ven the time/person is rite.
{HUGS}...S m i l e
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