I am feeling very restless for the last couple of days. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction, or maybe it is going in the direction it is meant to be, just not in the direction I want it to go!! That is usually a problem ~ experientially, it is time to start looking at new avenues, but emotionally I am not ready for it.
What do I do with boxes full of data that I have collected over the last few months when a preliminary analysis is indicating that it is all useless. Not a single remotely useful and interesting hypothesis is supported. Granted that this is not all the data, rather it is not even the actual one, yet the relationships are the same and should stand to be supported, one way or the other. People tell me that I am very hard on myself. Just setting some standards that I want to attain doesnot really mean that or does it? May be I am not really giving other aspects of my life a chance....maybe this is really running away from other realities of life...or maybe I really enjoy doing what I do and do not really want to invest time in other aspects of life. Sounds silly, I guess...one should experience all facets of life...
One friend I think is trying to come out and I am feeling a little incompetent in helping him through this process. It certainly is painful for him to acknowledge this and I have to deal with a lot of his mood swings. I have never really dealt with a close interaction that is not professional in nature, in which someone is trying to figure out their sexuality. I am involved in this one and though I had indicated that he should seek others, he needs me as a friend. Although I am certainly trying to be what he wants, it is a difficult situation for me. I go through a lot of emotions with him as he is dealing with an attraction at work and a pushy girl friend who wants to get married simultaneouly that triggered this process.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
Rejection...
Rejection hurts...sometimes it hurts more than other times, but you bet it hurts...
And this could be any kind of rejection ~ be it a rejection letter from a job, or rejection in social interactions, or rejection in intimate relationships....the more we want something, the more we invest in it, and the more rejection hurts.
If we are able to attribute this rejection to a system, sometimes, it is easier to handle it. If it is attributed to a person, it usually is more difficult to deal with. Also, depending on our personality, values, and beliefs some individuals are more expressive than others. Some deal with it by retaliation, others by introspection, and some others by whatever ways and means that work for them.
Rejection ~ consistent and frequent in some specific areas of life is a stressor that has the potential of affecting our self esteem. Yet, it is important to experience rejection, sometimes. It is important because being rejected gives one an insight into how life is not going to give us what we want always. Sometimes, it starts with a small 'NO' that parents tell their children on various occassions.
Life is full of experiences and we need to keep taking these risks in life. Need to keep sticking our necks out and taking risks, regardless of whether we will be successful or not, because it is usually the process that matters more than the outcome....or so we tell ourselves!!!
And this could be any kind of rejection ~ be it a rejection letter from a job, or rejection in social interactions, or rejection in intimate relationships....the more we want something, the more we invest in it, and the more rejection hurts.
If we are able to attribute this rejection to a system, sometimes, it is easier to handle it. If it is attributed to a person, it usually is more difficult to deal with. Also, depending on our personality, values, and beliefs some individuals are more expressive than others. Some deal with it by retaliation, others by introspection, and some others by whatever ways and means that work for them.
Rejection ~ consistent and frequent in some specific areas of life is a stressor that has the potential of affecting our self esteem. Yet, it is important to experience rejection, sometimes. It is important because being rejected gives one an insight into how life is not going to give us what we want always. Sometimes, it starts with a small 'NO' that parents tell their children on various occassions.
Life is full of experiences and we need to keep taking these risks in life. Need to keep sticking our necks out and taking risks, regardless of whether we will be successful or not, because it is usually the process that matters more than the outcome....or so we tell ourselves!!!
Sunday, March 4, 2007
friendship...
Friends, friendship ~ words that are common to us ~ all of us, and we use them in our lives to identify individuals and relationships. We operationalize these in different ways, categorize people in life in those categories of friendships and for some they play a more important role than others. Yet we all have friends and maintain friendships. This term is used more loosely as sometimes it is used to describe everyone from an acquaintance to a romantic partner.
Some place more importance on friends than their significant others, for some significant others are the closest of friends.
Historically the intensity and depth of feeling about a best friendship have been expressed in terms of mingling and blending of essenses between two people. Such friendship is often depicted as more important than love.
Ofcourse there are various levels or types of friendships such as situational friendships, emotional friendships, inspirational friendships, and casual friendships. Although at some level, an attempt to quantify, measure, assess, categorize, rationalize or simply speak of friendship might ironically contradict its very appeal -- that is an emotional connection with another person.
Can a man and woman be close friends, then, really close friends, without having any sexual connotations to their interactions? And if so, why does society not be able to accept that relationship for what it is?
Some place more importance on friends than their significant others, for some significant others are the closest of friends.
Historically the intensity and depth of feeling about a best friendship have been expressed in terms of mingling and blending of essenses between two people. Such friendship is often depicted as more important than love.
Ofcourse there are various levels or types of friendships such as situational friendships, emotional friendships, inspirational friendships, and casual friendships. Although at some level, an attempt to quantify, measure, assess, categorize, rationalize or simply speak of friendship might ironically contradict its very appeal -- that is an emotional connection with another person.
Can a man and woman be close friends, then, really close friends, without having any sexual connotations to their interactions? And if so, why does society not be able to accept that relationship for what it is?
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